Don’t ask where I got the title of this post; it just came to me because I’m going to write a short bit about a number of different subjects, and was trying to think of some cute catchy title . . .like Tuesday . . . – Tuesday what?? Tuesday Ramblings . . .no. Tuesday Reflections . . .no. Tuesday Contemplations . . .no. Needed to get started because I have LOTS of other items on my list, so sat down at keyboard and the word “Mishmash” came in my head, and so that’s it. And it will be a mishmash of sorts. I’m just in the mood to get some stuff off my chest and then will post something lighter and more fun tomorrow. Hopefully.

Mean people. I don’t like them. And to me, you’re either a nice person . . . or you’re not. Lately, I’ve had people in my life who’ve pretended to be my friend, but who really just had an agenda. And then when they’re done with their agenda, they’re done with the friendship. And I have people in my life who pretend they’re my friend, but that friendship is contingent on if they feel they’re a step ahead of me in a number of different areas; wealth, home, material items and if they feel my child is getting a step ahead of theirs, and he is, then they’re not so nice about us to their friends. In other words, they’re nice as long as I stay in my place. And I’m not going to anymore. I’m not making excuses anymore for a child who is wildly talented AND a good student AND a nice loving person. I’m done with people who are motivated by envy and greed. I’m done with people who always want to look for the worst in people, teachers and coaches; people who can take a really inspirational statement from a coach, a very caring and thoughtful statement and turn it into something negative. I’m done with people who can’t celebrate the successes of my children and who actually get mad and say hurtful things about it. I read something recently, about a woman who’s had a near death experience, and does feel she was at the gates of Heaven and does feel she actually talked to Jesus or at least angels, and she has said that since her experience, she has unlimited tolerance for other people’s behaviour, but extremely limited tolerance for how much time she spends around people whose behaviour she doesn’t agree with. That’s how I feel. People are free to act and feel how they want; just don’t ask me to put up with it or to ignore it. I have my faults and a lot of them, but I can truly say I’m happy for others when they or their children are successful (or not) in what they strive for. I’m thrilled when the son or daughter of a friends does well at something they’re worked hard at. I’m happy for my friends for just being there. And I grieve with them if things go awry. A daughter of a friend recently went through a very difficult time and consequently so did the entire family and I truly felt terrible for them and prayed for them. And I refused to gossip about it. There but for the Grace of God could go any of us or our children, I said. And I meant it. But I heard people who I thought were caring people really slam the girl and her parents. Shameful. And I’m also done with people who attend church, yet who are some of the most judgemental people I’ve ever met. People who keep track of how many times a person volunteers for something at the church. People who make snide remarks if they feel someone isn’t working hard enough at church. Is that really how Christians are supposed to be acting?

The good news is that I do have friends who are truly caring and loving friends; friends who rejoice or grieve with me whatever the circumstance. And those are the people I want to spend time around. Not those who secretly get an even small bit of glee whenever something goes wrong for someone, or who get irritated when something good happens for others. And I have lifelong friends at my church who are truly Christians and who are an inspiration to me and my faith.  I’m lucky in that I also have siblings who fall in the category of “good friends” and who fall into this category.

During this Christmas break, I read two books; To Heaven and Back by Dr. Mary Neale and Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eban Alexander. Both amazing stories about people who had near death experiences and who say they actually went to Heaven and were told by angels it wasn’t their time yet and so were escorted back to their bodies by these angels. The books are about the actual experience and how it’s changed their lives and perspectives since then. I’m a Christian and believe their accounts. Actually, Dr. Alexander didn’t really believe in God or the afterlife before this happened to him. And both authors seem very sincere in their stories. I’ve also read “Heaven Is For Real” about a young boy who also went to Heaven and met Jesus during a very serious illness.  All three stories made me feel like I want to be a better person; a more patient person.

I’m 53 years old and went through menopause years ago. I actually think I started going through it in my 30’s and by the time I was 45, I was done. I didn’t have a necessarily bad time, and except for night sweats it was pretty uneventful. But now that I’m approaching my mid-50’s, my waist is “thickening”. I eat a very healthy diet and I don’t overeat. I’m active. I walk for at least an hour every day and I keep busy. I am fairly slim. But in the last couple of years my weight has steadily gone up. Between 5 and 10 pounds. And since I’m fairly short, this can make a big difference. So . . .today I’m starting the 5:2 diet. You eat normally for 5 days of the week and you fast for two nonconsecutive days of the week. Fasting meaning 500 calories or less for women and 600 or less for men. So I’m going to fast on Tuesday and Thursday. It’s not only supposed to help in weight loss, but it is supposed to be healthy and good for the body. I’ve heard this before, and actually did this years ago. I’ll let you know how it goes.

There; I got things off my chest and shared some things that are going on in my life lately. What’s going on in yours?

Some people take down their Christmas decorations the day after Christmas. My mother used to take down ours – and forced us all to help – on New Year’s Day, which effectively ruined New Year’s Day for all of us. To this day, a remnant of that unhappy depressing feeling still creeps in my first day of the New Year. We would all be mad that we had to help, then my mother would get cranky and in a bad mood, we would all end up in a big fight and STILL have all the decorations to take down and store in many many boxes and drag all the way upstairs to the “big closet”, with every step being closely monitored by my mother who would admonish us that we were doing it all wrong. And we were, just throwing her lovely decorations in boxes and smashing them down and folding the box down quickly and hopefully before she could see. She always saw it. It was usually cold and grey outside, further adding to the sad and angry day. I still get depressed thinking about those days.

I, on the other hand, being the procrastinator that I’ve described before, try to take mine down the weekend before the boys go back to school. I love holidays, and try to drag it out as long as I can.  Besides, I consider New Year’s Day a holiday and holidays mean relaxing.  Holidays mean all bets are off, I’m entitled to get off of my schedule of cleaning, laundry and regular meals, and I can read or watch tv or do whatever I want. I clean, wash clothes and cook only as we need it done. But I’ve been known to leave our trees up until almost Valentine’s Day and I did this last year and was beginning to feel fairly horrified about that until a girlfriend confessed that she does that too. They even ended up decorating her tree for Valentine’s Day!

But for me, the party’s over today. The party ain’t over until Mama says it’s over or the fat lady sings and I say it’s over today. I can’t take it anymore. I take that as a good sign. Here’s what my house looks like now. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any pictures of what it looked like newly decorated and clean and pretty but suffice to say it did NOT look like this!

Not only is it messy, with gifts strewn all over the place and stacks and boxes everywhere and decorations looking sad and sagging, but it’s getting dirty too!  So, you can see what I’ll be doing today.  Taking down Christmas and getting things back to normal.  I’ve learned my lesson too, from those bad childhood memories and will not be enlisting my sons’ help.  I want to do it at my pace and without having two angry people griping at me all day.  I’ll let you know tomorrow how it went.

But before I start, I’ll show you how I started my day:

French toast (have absolutely NO food in house, milk is sour, so I dug up two heels in the bread bag, an egg and voila!), coffee (lots and lots of coffee) and my Bible and Upper Room.  I read my Upper Room devotion every day which means I read my Bible every day and today’s devotion was from the Book of Psalms and the devotion was about how God loves us always and every day and even when we make mistakes – and even when we’re too lazy to take down our holiday decorations within a proper timeframe.  Anyway, in our church, it’s Epiphany and we’re still celebrating.  Heck, the Magi haven’t even made it to the manger yet!!  I have pu-lunty of time!

I still have almost three hours until midnight, so technically, I still have three hours left on this day to post on this blog.  When I said one of my resolutions was to post for 31 days straight, I should have included a deadline time to have the post, posted.  Because I procrastinate – about everything and I have for years.  My mother used to gently suggest that I remove the rotting pumpkins off my front porch before I hang the Christmas wreath.  I’m officially a “procrastinator”.  And it’s nothing to brag about.

In defense, I like to say “I work better under pressure” and that’s really true.  But it’s also an excuse when I’m accused of not getting something done well in advance of a deadline.  Working under pressure, for me, usually means rushing through the project or chore while panicking and probably cursing, and ending up doing a condensed version of what I originally had planned.  It’s not a pretty sight, usually.  And I end up both mad at myself for stalling and relieved the whole damn thing is over and done.

Why do i procrastinate?  Let me count the ways.  1.  I’m lazy.  2.  Fear of failure.  Seriously.  So many things have not worked out for me before, that I fear even the measliest of projects will turn out a bust.  3. Low ambition levels.  True.  I’ve never had the urge to conquer the world.

I procrastinate in most everything, starting with housework.  Instead of having a regular schedule, I do chores here and there to keep the house from looking like a total wreck.  And only when it starts looking too messy, I jump in and clean up.  It’s the type of situation that it’s not a good thing if someone drops by unexpectedly.  And there are currently three baskets of laundry downstairs in laundry room waiting to be put away and they’ve been patiently waiting for about a week now.  I usually pay bills when they’re threatening to turn one of the utilities off, even though I have the money to pay them.  The only payments I make on time are the credit card payments and even some of those are paid on the day they’re due.  I pay school lunch money when the lunch lady finally calls me and jokingly says they’re not going to feed one of my sons until I send a check.  I clean the refrigerator out when things start growing.  And I once waited to call a plumber about a drip only after the drip had gone on so long in the sink that it started affecting the porcelain finish.  I work on my Sunday School lesson late late on Saturday nights. On the flip side, I feel good when I do get things done and once I do get started on a project, I usually keep working until it’s done and then move on to something else.

So, I made a resolution to post every day for 31 days and with three hours left in this day, this post is nearly done.  And after this is done, I’ll list the two things I resolved to list each day on Ebay.

Amendment to the resolutions I made about posting and selling on Ebay.  I’ll have a new post on my blog every day by 10 a.m. or earlier, unless other commitments come up that keep me from the house, and I’ll list something two things on Ebay every day by 4 p.m.

Good news – The dogs did get walked this morning and I took my mother to the dr. so she wouldn’t have to drive herself.  And I’m forgiving myself for not getting this done earlier.  Three out of eight isn’t bad. Is it?
How’s your new year going so far?

I love resolutions – the chance to do it better – the chance for a do over – the chance to get it right.  If I don’t have a plan, then I’ll do nothing.  So I feel like if I do have some objectives, then I may just accomplish something.  Anything.  And I like writing them down – and research does show that if you write it down, then the chances that you’ll actually do it are much much greater.

Frankly, I think resolutions appeal to me so much because for so long, I felt like I wasn’t getting it right, wasn’t accomplishing anything that was good and so with each New Year’s Day, I felt grateful that I had yet another chance to redeem myself and to try again.  And after 53 years, I think I may just start to be getting the hang of it.  When most are probably feeling like they’re kind of starting to wind down and getting ready to coast the rest of the way, I feel like I’m just starting to get it right.  Sad sounding, I know, but not really.  Makes me feel hopeful.  Like I just may get it done before it ends.

Now, I have many many areas that I’m still trying to master and don’t have a grip on yet, like finances, and forgiveness, and many others I can’t even think of right now.  But I have the resolve to try to fix this and tackle these and a bit of confidence that I can do it.  And so that’s what I’m going to try to do this year.  So, during the year 2013 I resolve to:

1.  Pray more each day and not rush through my daily devotions and Bible reading.  I guess it screams something about me that I read the Daily Mail and Hello and The Daily Beast and The Pioneer Woman and ALL the other blogs I read every morning (and spend a 2 hour chunk of time doing so) BEFORE I do my Bible reading (which lasts all of 15 min.!).  Sheesh!  That’s a cringeworthy statement.  Honest, but humiliating.  Just keepin it real.

2.  Get ahold of my finances!!  This is a BIG one.  And I’m determined to do this and provide a good example to my sons before my eldest graduates from high school in 2 years.  If there’s anything that broadcasts my emotional IQ (and in a bad way), it’s my way of handling money.  I don’t know if I’ll use Dave Ramsey or what or who, but I am going to do this.  Know one person’s insight I won’t be using and that’s my own.  What’s that saying about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?  And how stupid that is? And like my deceased husband used to say “Just how many pair of black boots does a woman need?”.  As it turns out, she needs just one if that many, and I have nearly 20!  My sister recently asked me if I could afford something I was showing her I wanted and I replied “When has that ever stopped me?”.  But the older I am, the less fun having a lot of stuff is – and it’s no fun if it keeps you awake in the middle of the night trying to talk yourself down out of a panic-induced sweat worrying about how you’re going to pay your bills!  (Am panicking again writing this).  So, again, I’ll be trying to get a grip on our finances.

3.  Write on this blog every day for JUST 31 days.  If I say “for the entire year” – I will surely abandon it after three days and fail at blogging AGAIN.  So, am going to follow a fellow blogger’s example – By The Brooke – and try to post for 31 days.  And then we’ll see after that about further goals.  But not now – just want to get to Feb. 1.

4.  Walk my dogs EVERY morning  – meaning every day.  I used to walk my ONE dog three times a day – every day.  Then Nicki got an adopted brother/boyfriend, Oliver, and Nicki’s daily walks dwindled to whenever the heck I could get around to it.  Can’t walk them together.  Nicki is 100 lb. German Shepherd and can walk for hours and miles, and Oliver is 15 lb. dachshund who can walk for about 15 blocks and or minutes, whichever comes first and then he tuckers out and wants to be carried.  Plus, Nicki is very strong and very aggressive and doesn’t take kindly to stray dogs coming out of nowhere and charging her so all my attention needs to be focused on her and her alone during walks.  So, now, IF they’re lucky, they each get walked once a day and ONCE I get around to it and that might be 3 p.m. and it might be a rush job at 4:30 before sun goes down.  So . . . I resolve to walk each dog for a nice longish walk in the morning – every morning.  And if I decide to take them on additional walks, icing on the cake.  They deserve it and they need it.

5.  Try to do something nice for someone else – every day.  Not holding myself to a big thing, just a nice thing.  Seriously.  It’s all about this, isn’t it?  So why is this #5 on my list?  That should say something I don’t want you to hear.  Ouch!  But, as a Christian I need to be doing this.  Get the focus off of myself and my messy life and try to help a fellow brother or sister out.  Am still worrying about why this is #5 and not #1??

6.  Be more forgiving and not so judgmental.  Am going to lump these two together.  I have a big problem with forgiveness.  And I can gossip with the best of them.  Neither very godly traits obviously.  And I need to fix these about myself.  I’m getting depressed the more resolutions I come up with.  And again, why is this one AND #5 AFTER the ones about walking the dogs and blogging daily??  I have a lot of work to do.

7.  Get the interior of my home in order and fixed up and decorated the way I want it to look.  I work on this all the time it seems, or maybe I just worry about it all the time.  I resolve to get my bedroom fixed up and the main bathroom remodeled and three years on, my stairs finally done.  I am going to do these three things if it kills me.

8.  Post at least 2 items to sell on ebay EVERY day.  This doesn’t sound like a lot, but by the time I iron it, stage it, upload pics, and write description a sizeable chunk of my day is gone.  I am starting to build my ebay business up and I need the money to be coming in continuously; not here and there.  So, every day.  Two items.

I think this’ll do it for now.  I was going to resolve to NOT watch any “Real Housewives” – or not yell at my kids occasionally – or was going to resolve to clean house and car EVERY day – and drink a kale smoothie every day but we all know none of that’s happenin!  At least on on a regular basis.  And as for this past year – 2012 – it wasn’t all a bust.  I did paint the interior of my home – part of it anyway – and I did quit smoking (Yes!).

So, Happy New Year!  Enjoy your day!  Make some resolutions!

(I’ll be starting mine TOMORROW – I never start them on the 1st day.  I LIST them on the first day – then start in on the 2nd!  Of course.)